Thursday Thirteen #4

Okay, so I was looking for something Valentinesy to do for this weeks TT... only while looking for a topic, I somehow stumbled upon an article about 4 Things Men Should Know About Valentine's Day (I posted it below.) Anyways, when I read this article I got so pissed off... I don't know if I'm just being sensitive but just something or rather a lot of things got to me. So keeping this article in mind I decided that my TT was going to be about 13 Delusions that Men have about VDay. Maybe it will make me feel better. :)

Thirteen Delusions men have about Valentine's Day.... 1…. Single women everywhere are desperate on Valentine's Day! What are you kidding me? So many things wrong with this statement! Really, you think single women can get desperate and lonely because of a holiday? And, what kind of a man do you have to be to think that this is a positive aspect of Valentine's Day? 2.... Women think that if you take them out on a date on VDay you're very serious. Uggggghhhhhhh!!!! Women aren't stupid! Fudge!!! If men really think that women are like that they need way more than this article to get a date! 3.... VDay has been stacked against men. Okay, do I really need to go here? No offense, I'm not big on VDay, but seriously is it that stressful? Why is it more stressful then lets say Christmas or any other holiday for that matter? 4.... The only day you have to buy flowers, candy, or do anything sweet for your loved one is on VDay. Seriously if you agree with this statement then you're single. And I gotta say... Gee, wonder why? 5.... Buy your loved one jewelry - Sure, I won't deny it, women love jewelry. But for Goddsakes, you have to stop somewhere. If you've been married or dating for a long time I want you to ask yourselves... How many necklaces have you bought us? How many rings? We won't say no, and we won't say we hate it, but jewelry isn't all that special when you have a million things to choose from... Plus, men always complain when it takes us a while to get dressed for a date. Well if he had less choices it wouldn't take us so long! ;) 6.... You have to buy flowers on VDay... oh even better the dozen red roses. Gee, I feel special! You know what you don't have to buy me flowers on VDay. Buy me flowers every other day of the year, and I'll be more than happy. ;) Just kidding - sorta! Okay, the rest of these are things men should do to win a woman's heart: 7.... Men, Please stop getting female advice from other men!!! What makes you think that one dumb ass can teach another dumb ass? I don't mean this to sound rude, but come on!!! What man can honestly say they know women. Heck! I'm a Gemini... I change my mind like a hundred times a day... I dare you to think you know what I'm thinking! Dare you! 8.... Treat women like it's Valentine's Day everyday. To be honest, it's more meaningful if you show up on our doorsteps on non-holiday day. Bring us flowers, (I dare you to be more creative that red roses) whatever is their favourite. 9.... Make us dinner. Hell, order dinner! Any day that we don't have to make dinner is great! 10.... Clear the snow off our cars when there's a huge snow storm (I know it's demanding but suck it up!) or just start it so it's warm when we get in. *sigh* I got this one from a fellow blogger, and I thought, it was the perfect way into my heart. 11.... When we come to bed with cold feet... don't shy away... come closer! Warm us up. 12.... Sit through Gilmore Girls with me (insert whatever show men absolutely hate, but women absolutely love)... even though you want to sanitize the TV just because you know I had the show on. I'm a GG addict, and although my husband cringes just as the sound of the GG song at the start of the show... let me tell you how great it is when he actually on the occasion sits through the painful hour and watches it with me. ;) Better than any flowers I have ever received! 13.... Call us! It's pretty simple. If you just started dating... what the hell is up with that 3 day/4 day rule? And what moron came up with it? We want to know that you can't wait to talk to us... it's just that simple. My husband calls me everyday at lunch, the phone rings at 12:30 and I smile before even picking it up, because I know it's him. I know even in his busy day he's thinking about me... and he found the time to call. Funny, chocolate doesn't put a smile on my face that fast - close, but his phone calls are fat free and calorie free! ;) Obviously this list is more me... other women are less demanded, others are more. But the point is, if you listen to us you won't need to be desperate enough to read an article that can get you into a lot more trouble than you were in to begin with. :) I hope you all have a Happy Valentine's Day! Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

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The Article that PISSED me off!

Four Things Every Man Should Know About Valentine's Day

From Jeff Cohen,

Your Guide to Dating.

The following article is a guest submission by Joseph Matthews, author of Art of Approaching.
Love it or hate it, you can't avoid it. It occurs like clockwork on the 14th of February, every year. It's Valentine's Day.

The one day synonymous with love (and loneliness). And if you're a man facing the inevitability of this day, there are some things you simply need to know if you hope to have a V-Day that's maximum on the love and minimum on the bitterness.

Let's be clear about one thing...
You must forget about everything you think you know about Valentine's Day!
Valentine's Day, which was once a celebration of the sanctity and holiness of the marriage union, has been extended by big business and the media to cover all aspects of human courtship.
Should we go down the list?

Dating, the first kiss, true love, romance, unrequited love, chocolates, greeting cards, love poems, exotic vacations, beauty... they have all been incorporated into the modern idea of "Valentine's Day."

But here's a little secret that none of these businesses and media outlets will tell you (especially if you happen to be a man).

Valentine's Day has been stacked against you!
If you think about it, look at the role men have been placed in for this specific holiday.
We're the ones who are expected to buy the women expensive gifts.
We're the ones who are expected to take them out to expensive dinners.
We're the ones expected to initiate the courtship ritual.

And to top all that off, the women have such a high expectation of Valentine's Day, that when it comes down to it, most men simply can't live up to what the women really want.
So what does that mean? It means Valentine's Day is a day where men spend a lot of money and can disappoint a woman they care about, and get little benefit from in the long run.

(Okay, I know that's a cynical view, but bear with me here, I'm trying to make a point.)

That's the way Valentine’s Day is currently set up. And if you play into that set-up, you're going to get that rather undesirable result I've listed above.

But, if you're willing to "buck" the system and try something new, you can actually make Valentine's Day work for you instead of against you.

The first thing you need to realize about Valentine's Day is that you don't need to spend a lot of money!

If you're planning on buying your love a fancy necklace, or get reservations at that $200 a plate restaurant, you need to stop yourself right there.
Why?

Because you're shooting yourself in the foot, that's why!

When you start getting extravagant about your gifts and events, you play into the "courtship ritual" that has been pre-established for you by society. In this role, you're the one trying to gain (or in this case, buy) the woman's approval.

Let me ask you this: Has that ever worked out for you before? Didn't think so.
When you're trying to gain a woman's approval, you're putting yourself at a distinct disadvantage, because you're allowing her to judge your courtship efforts.

Instead of putting a dollar amount on what you want to do to woo her, you need to think a little differently. In the end, women don't really care about expensive gifts or dinners. They might enjoy them for a little bit, but it's not something that will win their hearts.

However, all women LOVE romance. So instead of an expensive gift or date, give her a romantic experience. Give her a gift that means something more than just dollar signs. Do something that might not cost a lot of money, but will bring you two closer together.

All women respond to romantic gestures like that. And it's not something they can readily judge, because it's an emotional experience you're offering, instead of something worth lots of money.
The second thing you need to know is about avoiding dates on Valentine's Day, at all cost.

Now, if you're married or in a long term relationship with a woman, then it's okay to make a special night of Valentine's Day and go out. But if you're a single guy and want to make your V-Day worth while, the worst thing you can do is set up a "traditional" date for the 14th.

The reason for this is that women will place way more importance on a date that occurs on Valentine's Day than a date that occurs any other day of the year.

So if you really like a girl and you want to get romantic with her, the worst thing you can do is ask her out on Valentine's Day.

Because then, you're signaling that you want something serious from her, and that might freak her out a bit.

Now, I'm not saying you should not date on V-Day. In fact, if you set it up right, a date on Valentine's Day can work out quite well. But you need to diffuse the "seriousness" factor of a date on the 14th as much as possible before you do it.

An example of this could be that you decide to throw a Valentine's Day party, and you invite your lady love to attend - along with a bunch of other people - so the pressure is now off and people can just have fun instead.

Or, you could invite her, along with a group of friends, to a special event that's taking place that night, like a concert.

Whatever it is, make it low pressure. This way, you avoid the restricting expectations that go along with a V-Day date.

The third thing is, if you don't have a date for Valentine's Day, and you don't have someone you really want to be with that day, you can really take advantage of the holiday to make meeting women extremely easy.

See, women who are single or lonely will tend to be very depressed about Valentine's Day. They'll be out searching for Mr. Right on and around that night. This means Valentine's Day is the best day to meet women!

It's true. Walk into any bar, club, bookstore, coffee shop, whatever from the 12th to the 15th of February, and you're going to find women just looking for the right guy to come along and sweep them off their feet!

Which brings us to the fourth thing every guy should know about Valentine's Day: How to romance a woman once you're with her.

Like I said before, true romance isn't created with gifts or activities. It's created via your words, actions, and intentions. If you want to become Mr. Casanova for V-Day, you have to know what you're doing, the right things to do, and most of all, the right things to say.

Nothing is more influential than words. And if you have the right words, you can woo any woman you desire, regardless of how you look, how old you are, your nationality, or even the size of your bank account.

All you need are the right words.
And remember: Stay the course, and you'll be sure to have the kind of Valentine's Day you always dreamed was possible.

Walking away from Mafia Blood! For now.

Okay seriously, I'm dying here!!! :)

I've decided - just this minute - that my only hope to ever completing this ms is to walk away from it. I have some changes that I need to make to it, and I'm just not in the mood to rip apart the chapters and start from scratch. So instead, I just stare at the pages like if the problems are going to fix themselves! Arrrrrggggggghhhhhhh!!!!!

So... I'm moving on. In Mafia Blood I decided not to kill of a person, which from page one I thought for sure was going to die. So, somehow I fell in love with him and decided he was going to be in the next one... which is what I just decided I'm moving on to. It great, because I have these fresh ideas in my head. It sucks, because I have that incomplete feeling, which I hate!

Oh well, it's not like I'm helping the situation. At least writing the new ms, will get more accomplished than staring aimlessly at Mafia Blood. :)

Please don't judge me by my writing today! ;)

Since it's soooooo cold outside, obviously everyone is heating their places like crazy. I'm getting so sick from all the hot and cold, hot and cold... I'm dying here! I'm sick, my brain hurts and it feels like it has been replaced with a cloud.

I'm going to force myself to think clearly for later on this evening so that I can edit another chapter, but even as I type this sentence I can hear my brain laughing at me!

So I guess we'll just have to see tomorrow. Other than that there's nothing new with me.

I did want to congratulate Christine on her new Website! Yay Christine! It looks awesome! Go visit her at http://www.christinedabo.com.

Don't judge a book by its cover!

Okay, so I spent almost my entire Sunday devoted to judging a writing contest. I had five partial manuscripts 25 pages each. It's funny how, right at the beginning before even reading the first page, I had already selected what my favourites where going to be. Just based on the titles! I know... It's terrible! I'm ashamed!

So many people tell me that when they buy a book they open it and read the first page or pages, if they like it they buy it. Umm, not so much me. I get caught up with the title first, the cover second, (I know that's terrible but I can't help myself) and the back blurb third. I don't even crack the book open.

Two of the partials sounded so intriguing just by the title that I couldn't wait to start them... I was so disappointed I can't even begin to tell you. Maybe it's because I set my expectations high, I don't know, but seriously I was bummed.

Then there was an MS that had a religious title and I thought - Ugh! I really am not going to like this one. But what I thought it was going to be was totally not what it turned out to be. Does that make sense?

Then there were my last two MS', one had a holiday title - another yuck factor for me. The other had a Western title - I'm not so great with Westerns. So these two, were the one's that at the beginning I thought I would absolutely not be able to get into or relate to. Oh my God, was I ever wrong. I wanted these to go on forever... when will I know how they end?

Even though this was my first time judging an unpubbed author category, I was definitely not disappointed. The one difference that I really like is that unpubbed authors actually want feedback. It's sad to say, but to this day, I have never had one published author ask for their score sheets back from a contest. *sigh*

When you get published - if you submit an entry of an already published book - do you still not want feedback? Wouldn't you want to learn something from past mistakes? Or is it just something that you would all together just slip under the rug? What's done is done?

Reading Weekend

I finished my last chapter on Friday! YAY!!! (You know for someone who hates caps lock, I sure write in capitals quite frequently.) Just an observation. :)

Anyways, I decided as a reward I would read Delicious by Susan Mallery. The problem is... I liked it, so then I picked up the next book in the line - Irresistible. Read it. Loved it, even cried a little. So now I'm going to start her third book, I can't not read it, because I know the last one is of the last brother in the series. So yeah, I'm a sucker for any books in a series.

I'm really hoping it doesn't disappoint me - even though someone *wink, wink* you know who you are, said it wasn't all that great. I want it to be... I'm hoping with the history of the past books the last story kind of ties everything up nicely. *Sigh* We'll see.

Other than that, until Monday I am not picking up my laptop to write. Or at least I'll try not to. I'm devoting my Sunday to reading the 5 partial manuscripts that I promised to judge, Judging doesn't have to be done until March, but I'd much rather work on it early.

Excited about all of it actually, this is my first unpublished authors category. So I'm curious to see the different styles of writing by unpubbed authors. The titles sound interesting so... well I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Guilty of sucking at last chapters!

Oh these pictures!!! My little hit men kitties, I love them!!!

Okay so I have a confession, I absolutely suck at writing last chapters! I will stall till the cows come home.

I though that by Wednesday I would be done, yeah right. Not only have I not finished the last chapter, but you could pretty much say I skipped it. Well, actually not 'pretty much', I actually did skip it.

I went ahead and wrote the damn synopsis and I even wrote a damn Epilogue! Crap that last chapter!!! I don't know what it is!


So, I decided that I'm going to motivate myself a little. When I finish this chapter (or whats left of it - it's not even much,) I'll reward myself with reading a little. Sadly I haven't read a book in at least a couple of weeks... which for me is beyond unusual.



Great... now I get to go work on that chapter... Yay! :(

I wanted to join your 50 books in 2007 club... but there's a problem, kinda. I'm reading a lot of Harlequin Intrigue since that's where I want to send this one. Let's call it research, which it is. ;) Anyways I know HQI has really short books, like 200 pages... will you make me read more than one to make it count? ;)