Wednesday, February 7, 2007

The Article that PISSED me off!

Four Things Every Man Should Know About Valentine's Day
Your Guide to Dating.

The following article is a guest submission by Joseph Matthews, author of Art of Approaching.
Love it or hate it, you can't avoid it. It occurs like clockwork on the 14th of February, every year. It's Valentine's Day.

The one day synonymous with love (and loneliness). And if you're a man facing the inevitability of this day, there are some things you simply need to know if you hope to have a V-Day that's maximum on the love and minimum on the bitterness.

Let's be clear about one thing...
You must forget about everything you think you know about Valentine's Day!
Valentine's Day, which was once a celebration of the sanctity and holiness of the marriage union, has been extended by big business and the media to cover all aspects of human courtship.
Should we go down the list?

Dating, the first kiss, true love, romance, unrequited love, chocolates, greeting cards, love poems, exotic vacations, beauty... they have all been incorporated into the modern idea of "Valentine's Day."

But here's a little secret that none of these businesses and media outlets will tell you (especially if you happen to be a man).

Valentine's Day has been stacked against you!
If you think about it, look at the role men have been placed in for this specific holiday.
We're the ones who are expected to buy the women expensive gifts.
We're the ones who are expected to take them out to expensive dinners.
We're the ones expected to initiate the courtship ritual.

And to top all that off, the women have such a high expectation of Valentine's Day, that when it comes down to it, most men simply can't live up to what the women really want.
So what does that mean? It means Valentine's Day is a day where men spend a lot of money and can disappoint a woman they care about, and get little benefit from in the long run.

(Okay, I know that's a cynical view, but bear with me here, I'm trying to make a point.)

That's the way Valentine’s Day is currently set up. And if you play into that set-up, you're going to get that rather undesirable result I've listed above.

But, if you're willing to "buck" the system and try something new, you can actually make Valentine's Day work for you instead of against you.

The first thing you need to realize about Valentine's Day is that you don't need to spend a lot of money!

If you're planning on buying your love a fancy necklace, or get reservations at that $200 a plate restaurant, you need to stop yourself right there.

Because you're shooting yourself in the foot, that's why!

When you start getting extravagant about your gifts and events, you play into the "courtship ritual" that has been pre-established for you by society. In this role, you're the one trying to gain (or in this case, buy) the woman's approval.

Let me ask you this: Has that ever worked out for you before? Didn't think so.
When you're trying to gain a woman's approval, you're putting yourself at a distinct disadvantage, because you're allowing her to judge your courtship efforts.

Instead of putting a dollar amount on what you want to do to woo her, you need to think a little differently. In the end, women don't really care about expensive gifts or dinners. They might enjoy them for a little bit, but it's not something that will win their hearts.

However, all women LOVE romance. So instead of an expensive gift or date, give her a romantic experience. Give her a gift that means something more than just dollar signs. Do something that might not cost a lot of money, but will bring you two closer together.

All women respond to romantic gestures like that. And it's not something they can readily judge, because it's an emotional experience you're offering, instead of something worth lots of money.
The second thing you need to know is about avoiding dates on Valentine's Day, at all cost.

Now, if you're married or in a long term relationship with a woman, then it's okay to make a special night of Valentine's Day and go out. But if you're a single guy and want to make your V-Day worth while, the worst thing you can do is set up a "traditional" date for the 14th.

The reason for this is that women will place way more importance on a date that occurs on Valentine's Day than a date that occurs any other day of the year.

So if you really like a girl and you want to get romantic with her, the worst thing you can do is ask her out on Valentine's Day.

Because then, you're signaling that you want something serious from her, and that might freak her out a bit.

Now, I'm not saying you should not date on V-Day. In fact, if you set it up right, a date on Valentine's Day can work out quite well. But you need to diffuse the "seriousness" factor of a date on the 14th as much as possible before you do it.

An example of this could be that you decide to throw a Valentine's Day party, and you invite your lady love to attend - along with a bunch of other people - so the pressure is now off and people can just have fun instead.

Or, you could invite her, along with a group of friends, to a special event that's taking place that night, like a concert.

Whatever it is, make it low pressure. This way, you avoid the restricting expectations that go along with a V-Day date.

The third thing is, if you don't have a date for Valentine's Day, and you don't have someone you really want to be with that day, you can really take advantage of the holiday to make meeting women extremely easy.

See, women who are single or lonely will tend to be very depressed about Valentine's Day. They'll be out searching for Mr. Right on and around that night. This means Valentine's Day is the best day to meet women!

It's true. Walk into any bar, club, bookstore, coffee shop, whatever from the 12th to the 15th of February, and you're going to find women just looking for the right guy to come along and sweep them off their feet!

Which brings us to the fourth thing every guy should know about Valentine's Day: How to romance a woman once you're with her.

Like I said before, true romance isn't created with gifts or activities. It's created via your words, actions, and intentions. If you want to become Mr. Casanova for V-Day, you have to know what you're doing, the right things to do, and most of all, the right things to say.

Nothing is more influential than words. And if you have the right words, you can woo any woman you desire, regardless of how you look, how old you are, your nationality, or even the size of your bank account.

All you need are the right words.
And remember: Stay the course, and you'll be sure to have the kind of Valentine's Day you always dreamed was possible.


Jana the Editor said... this article doesn't really "piss me off" per se..but it does irk me. i agree that valentine's day is completely exaggerated by the media and it is a way for the economy to fly, but i don't agree about it being a day for guys to become "Mr. Casanova". i kinda hate v-day for that reason. i don't want my significant other freaking out about what to plan or ideal v-day: beer, hockey game, and pool. It's really that easy :)
love you
oh and p.s. STOP IGNORING ME!!!

Wylie Kinson said...

What a cop out! I'm easy... chocolate and a g/c for Amazon.
Or... breakfast in bed AFTER I've been allowed to sleep-in.
And V-Day is a two way street -- you give me a little attention and you get your fave meal cooked and a back-rub, etc :)
Who says V-day is just for women to enjoy? It's to celebrate LOVE!!!

Side note - my two-year old said to me today: Mommy, you my Sweetheart. *MELT!!*

Angela/SciFiChick said...

My word! It makes women that are single sound desperate on V-Day!
Heck no. Yes, I may get slightly lonely or depressed on that day.. but that certainly doesn't mean I'm going to lower my standards! And I'm going to either go out and have fun or stay at home and pout. I definitely not going out to try to meet a man. Give me a break.
Okay. End of rant.

Vicky said...

Jana - who asked you? You've been ignoring me for how long?!? Bite me girly girl... And I'm ignoring you?!?!?!?!?!? What the puck? Dude, I didn't realize that your phone doesn't dial out. My appologies! ;)

Vicky said...

Wylie - I'm easy too! ;)

Vicky said...

Angela - I think that's the one that pisses me off the most - desperate!?! Some men are friggin morons!